Last week I was given the responsibility as AMPACoordinator for AMPAC Bandar Baru Bangi Center. This responsibility comes at a time which I thought pretty challenging, if not very, considering on my financial and life status.
Firstly, probably I am going to have my role as the Jawatankuasa Latihan dan Kepimpinan (JKLK) of PEMBINA continued for another 2 years.This responsibility requires me to attend to the needs of the oragnisations as well as the members from all around Malaysia. I have been holding the position for almost 2 years and from my observation, plenty of my KPI was not achieved. I could have come up with many reasons for that, yet, I decided to take 100% responsibility towards it.
However, as time passed by, I have a feeling that I become more dull on maneuvering the position. The morale was low and I wish I could have done better, I wish I could gain back the spirit that I have during the early days of taking the responsibility as JKLK PEMBINA. Today it feels just so far from me. Since I am now an AMPACoordinator and I have to put more energy and time invested here in AMPAC, I saw a bleak future for me being with Jawatankuasa Pusat (JKP) PEMBINA.
Secondly, I’m just married and I am doing my best to stabilise my family condition. Not that we are living in a poor condition. Its because of my income is just enough to maintain our life. Living in Kuala Lumpur appears to be much more challenging than where I have been living so far. Some more, now I have to sustain a living for 2 persons, not only or myself anymore. I know that I have to do something to gain more. And I am kinda in a dilemma. To fully focus on what I am doing best right now, that is pouring 100% of my time and energy investment with AMPAC, or to look for something else to be done.
Yes, I know I have to be grateful and content to what I have right now. I really know that. The thing left for me is to Walk the Talk, to practice what I believe. There are times when I felt so cornered that I resorted to mood swings. Well, when this happen, I myself feel sorry for the person who are at my surroundings at that time. I mean no harm, its just that I just feel like to relinquish the burden by doing as I wish. Man, this gotta stop before I really kill someone (of which, my self. huhu)
Mainly all I can say about having this responsibility as an AMPACoordinator is that I saw a room for improvement, many lessons and experiences to be gained. May Allah give me strength to push my self to the limit, to grind my mind and to harden my soul in order to become a real fighter, a real Mujahid.
Cause no diamond is made without High Pressure and High Temperature condition. That is what also required to give birth to a high quality men.
Let this verse from the Quran motivates me to strive harder and be patient.